Mario’s Tips on Writing IV: Imagery that Conveys Character and Setting

This is Part IV in a list of short writing tips from Mario Lowthar, the premier critiquer in my writing group and published short story author.

Mario says:

Convey me! | Art by SYoshiko

Imagery is a necessity but I like the image also to convey character or setting. In one of your stories, you had a young man, might have been Evvern, bobbing his head up and down outside of Merreth’s door (I think) like a cork bobbing in water. Apt-enough image of how Evvern looked. But it compared him to a cork! For me it was a missed opportunity, because cork wasn’t relevant to his character or the setting. Because it was a character moment, I’d have preferred something to convey how he felt (i.e. ‘ducking and weaving at her door like a nervous shadow’) or what sort of person he was (i.e. ‘bobbing his head up and down like a servant begging deference’), both far more useful to the reader than how he looked. A story has only a few words. So paint pictures.

In ‘Cover Her Face’, P.D. James has a housekeeper describe a soon-to-be-murdered servant girl whom she doesn’t trust, but who hoodwinks everyone else, as ‘Tough as a nut and cunning as a wagon-load of monkeys.’ Why does James choose a nut, a wagon, and monkeys? Because a nut is hard and it keeps the inner seed from view. Monkeys are sometimes cute, but are more often sly, pilfering, shifty, staring, inquisitive, abruptly combative and not-quite-human beasts. A wagon, as opposed to a car or truck or boat, conveys the small English village in which the story occurs. So the reader gets a strong sense of protagonist, antagonist, and setting. Awesome, simply awesome.

There you have, it from Mario!